THE BEAUTY IN THE BROKEN

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I have passed by this scene on top of Devil’s Den in Gettysburg, PA a 1,000 times. I have seen it in every weather element possible and I never fail to admire it. This scene, perhaps over 150 years ago, didn’t have the broken fence. But it had broken and bloodied bodies of Union and Confederate Soldiers here and all around. So much so, that the creek and marshes turned red.

So, what can be beautiful about the broken bodies of these soldiers? To me, it’s the strength of their love for their God and their families; as well as the fortitude of their courage. They were brave, resilient, had spirit, guts and strength of mind. They didn’t have our modern day conveinences. Some of them walked for days in the snow without shoes, no coats and many starved. I look around now and I see people who need “safe houses” because their candidate didn’t get elected. What about those who removed and still want to remove the remaining Confederate Battle Flags and monuments? They claim those objects of the Confederacy are racist and in their minds, it would stop all the evil this country has to offer. It is logic, I simply cannot fathom. But perhaps, it was nothing more than an excuse as obviously, the removal of those symbols did not stop more people from dying.  It just called to arms every ancestor of every Confederate Soldier and of the South, to rise up and take a stand. It separated the best of friends and caused division amongst those who honored the Confederacy and those who did not. So, in many ways, it started another war – a race war. Being called a “racist” because I voted for Donald Trump was a new thing for me. I love people. I do not care about the color. I care about the heart. All of our hearts beat the same color. Some hearts have grown cold and no longer feel what love is. They have allowed themselves to become bitter and evil to the point they feel justified in taking the life of innocent people. This is where the true blame should be; not in the flags, monuments or guns. Guns don’t kill people. They are simply the tool that causes death. People kill people. The gun by itself can do nothing on it’s own.

I never know how my blogs are going to turn out when I sit down to write them.  But this is on my heart. There is beauty in the broken. Those heroes who jumped in to save the dying, or drive them to the hospital or chased the gunman; the fire and police personnel who risked their lives and who do every day, there… is the beautiful.

 

Juliana

 

 

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NO OTHER CHOICE!

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I recently was told to, “Lean into my fear.”  I understand this all too well, especially when it comes to Figure Skating. The deeper the lean on an edge, the better the move will be. But, to lean on skates that are millimeters in width, yikes!..It’s scary. So, round and round we go. We don’t want to lean into something that scares us. It goes against our human nature. Instead, we should want to run from fear and not lean into it or face it head on. But today, I conquered a huge fear of (smaller) heights that the first several attempts left me sick and frozen. Which is precisely what fear does. It paralyzes us. It stops us from moving forward. It keeps us in the same exact place or worse yet, it sets us back.

What made today different was the fact I had no choice. What I needed was up above in the loft and I had to climb up there and crawl through some boxes. After a few minutes, I noticed my body started to show symptoms of panic. But, I refused to listen. I couldn’t run even if I wanted to.  The only way to go was down…off a ladder. I had to go slow and stop myself from freaking out.

If I have learned nothing else from being a Figure Skater, I have learned quite possibly the greatest lesson of all. Small victories, eventually lead to big ones. To master the advanced level skills, it takes a whole lot of little skills combined. At each lesson, I have to overcome some sense of fear. I hate to fall. It hurts. But the alternative is, to sit on the sidelines. I have never been one to do that. I refuse to sit idly by while the world passes me by. I want to live it. I want to be a part of life. I want to experience the crash of the waves, to the peaceful sound of nature when I hike. But, New York City, oh how I love it.

Ususally around Christmas time, I visit the city. I can skate at the Rockefeller Center and hear the sounds and see the sights of Christmas. But, it’s such a magical place in itself any time of the year. Pretty soon, with the film I will have to go to California. I will get to explore new places and meet new people. I plan to see the Redwoods while there. Does it scare me to have to branch out, being an introvert? Of course. But, if I want to be a “real” filmmaker, I have no choice. I have to do what filmmakers do. Sometimes when we are left with no other choice, it is the best possible place we can be. That “no other choice,” causes us to press through the fear. If I want to be a Gold level skater, I have to do what Gold level skaters do. I have to pass the tests to get me there. Which means, I have to face a lot of scary moves, jumps, spins, bumps and bruises.

Because I am an “introvert,” I like being alone. It’s when I can think, pray, write and create. I am not withdrawn. I am quiet. I am in constant motion though at times, I am standing still, contemplating my next move. I am always searching for answers and how to fix things. I have faith in God and I know nothing is impossible with Him. Sometimes, my faith has to catch up with my dreams. My dreams are so big and at times, I don’t have the faith to back them up. So, I have to side-step and get some more faith and then get back to dreaming. But, I don’t just want to dream. I have to do! I have to lean into things that scare me. Whether it is talking to an investor or trying a new jump, I have to trust in my own two feet and trust the guidance that God gives me and the help of those around me.

I might not be where I want to be, but I am on the way to getting there! Still, I KNOW I have to go at a pace that is right for the next level and the next phase of my life. I love to write. It’s like as easy to me as breathing. Words are a very powerful tool. They can lift someone up, or tear them to pieces. Words can make us laugh or they can make us cry. They can disappoint and they can bring hope. They can hurt and they can heal. They can make us sad when, we are expecting to be happy. Today’s words for me after all of this, are “no other choice.” I have no other choice but to lean into the fear and just get moving! I cannot continue to just sit in the boat. If Peter walked on water, so can I!

Juliana

 

ONWARD!

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Due to a few months of looking for a place and then the move itself, I have been beyond stressed. It has consisted of issue after issue to the point I became numb. This move was unexpected and heartbreaking. But the new place, isn’t what I expected either. I was hoping to be able to buy my own home and then all would be right in Juliana’s world.

We have had to downsize from 4 floors to just one and a small one floor. Which means 80% of my world has to go to storage. I have tried to think positive and be positive, but the emotions of it all left me crashing to the floor in tears. I consider myself to be a pretty strong woman. But, for survival purposes only, I have had to just go with the flow.

Yet, once the dust settles, I do believe this new place will be easier to manage and I will have a more private setting in which I can just sit out on the deck and read. I will have a much clearer mind in which to write. Author’s write. It’s what we do. I have so many books to finish I have lost count. My Summer Ray series is in need of the 6th volume. But, I have been so cluttered in my life. I am thinking this new smaller place will help me to simplify things and I can truly get things accomplished. Well, at least I am still trying to be positive.

In all honesty, my focus is not on buying a home where I currently live. My heart, soul and mind are on buying a beach house in Bethany Beach, Delaware. It’s all I think about, other than my normal all I think abouts. It’s like I live there on the weekends and during the summer already. I can actually feel the wind on my face, the sand on my feet and I can hear the waves crashing to shore. Do I know what God is up to? Nope! But, I do know I can trust Him, even when I cannot understand Him.

So, I will continue to see the rainbow in the storms. They will pass and the rainbow will continue to make me smile. I know God is reminding me that He keeps His promises and I just have to continue to trust Him. I can let go of the past and reach for the future in great expectation of wonderful new beginnings and great adventures. This stress will pass too. This is only a temporary situation, all this transition. But, I consider it to be a stepping stone to my beach home and yes, my eventual home near or in Gettysburg. I will never leave my children or GRANDS. But the beach house is our family home that we will get to enjoy together. So, onward!

Juliana

WE WILL TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK!

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Oops…I might be a racist because I wrote the lettering, “Dawn’s Early Light” in white! Did you know cotton is now considered to be racist; those of us who are boycotting the NFL are being called, “racists,” those of use who voted for Trump are definitely racists and the list goes on an on.

Since even cotton is now so darn offensive, we might as well all strip down and just go naked,but we would be racist for the color of our skin! For the love of God, when does this crap stop! So, we are racist because we are boycotting those who disrespect the American flag and all it stands for. We are racists because we respect our Military and those who fought and died to keep us free. NFL players take a knee overseas, but stand for another foreign country’s anthem, KNOWING it will cause an American outrage; KNOWING it will cause America to be shamed. If President Trump told you not to jump off a cliff, would you do it just because he said not to? So, you are taking a knee because the President of the United States is doing precisely what a real President is supposed to do. He is standing up for the respect of the flag, and yet you call him a racist and white supremacy.  You take a knee because he told you to stand. There again, if he told you not to jump off a cliff, would you jump, just to prove you don’t have to do what the President of the United States says you should do? Basically, it is the same principal. You are in rebellion of the elected official’s statements. I agree wholeheardedly, you should be fired for taking a knee during the National Anthem. Alejandro, tell me, in what world is it okay for you to have to apologize for respecting our American Flag? You wimped out. You chose to do the right thing and then, you chose to rescind it. Why? Because you say, “You threw your team under the bus.” You, an American Military Vet. Are you freaking kidding me! Where is your backbone…?

Where is the integrity of this country? I will tell you where it is. It is in every pissed off, jersey burning, NFL boycotting American, who refuses to stand for players who refuse to stand for our National Anthem. We will take this country back. We will help President Trump make it great again!!!

 

Juliana Love

 

GOD AND COUNTRY!

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As a coach myself, I find it very disturbing that other coaches allow their players to kneel during our National Anthem.  The NFL players know exactly what they are doing. Yet, little eight year old children, not so much. What they needed was for that coach to be a role model and to stand up and do the right thing. To help shape the innocent minds for future lawlessness is incredibly dangerous.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.” Mark 9:42

I cannot even wrap my thoughts around what is happening in this country. General Robert E. Lee is a target for hate and racism. But seriously, what good is it doing? His statues were peacefully standing for a 100 years and due to the accusations, racism and hate are once again the focus of some of the American people. But not because of General Lee, but because of those doing the accusing. Which I find so ironic that they are so blind to the fact of their own individual behavior. It is all just an excuse to run wild and to live above the law. Then, when businesses lose revenue because those of us who refuse to spend another dollar in these cities, they will have something else to whine and complain about.

What I find so sad is the lack of moral respect for both God and country! Which is exactly what it all comes down to. Even some Christians are ranting against the President of the United States and marching against him. God will most assuredly judge them first. You might not like the President. But he is an elected official and “promotion comes from the Lord.” They want to blame the Russians and not look to the real Source, which is Almighty God. So, when (especially) Christians are speaking against the President, it is God they are actually speaking against. “It is a fearful thing to fall in to the hands of the Living God!

When little children and NFL players are kneeling during the National Anthem; when another coach is fired for kneeling at the 50 yard line; when peaceful statues that hadn’t bothered anyone in a 100 years start to be torn down to appease the lefts or whatever hate group happens to be offended at the time, why be so worried about North Korea? We are already destroying this country by the hands of its own people. I haven’t seen those celebrities, who said they would leave the country if Trump was elected actually leave. So, stop crying wolf and shut the hell up! If you won’t be part of the solution, stop being part of the problem!

Juliana

CONGRATULATIONS AMERICA, YOU’RE BREAKING RECORDS!

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Florida…I hope those who can evacute will. I know many cannot and do not have the means to leave. Some people don’t have any place to go or the money to do so. Jose is right behind Irma. Still you are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heart is broken over this country. But, I know there is beauty in the ashes. What we saw in Texas, we will see in Florida. However, three months after Charleston removed the Confederate Battle Flag, it was hit by the outer bands of Joaquin with record breaking flooding and record breaking rainfall. As my friend Tony stated, we have removed statues from Christian men, coincedence or hint that two major (record breaking) hurricanes have hit Florida, Texas and Louisana. These statues were not kindly removed either. They were ripped off their foundations, desecrated, vandalized, spit on and kicked. Then, they were thrown on top of each other in locked yards in disgrace. Confederate memorial plaques were removed from some cemeteries, a cemetery for god sake! Schools with Confederate names are being renamed as well.

If you want to talk slavery, let’s talk. Are you aware that in July of 2008, Congress officially apologized for slavery and Jim Crow? The Government was doing what was morally right and for a time being, this country for the most part, lived in peace. The ills and mistakes of the past (in both the North and the South) were healing. The shed blood on both sides was resting peacefully, though never to be forgotten.

Then in 2015, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley ordered the removal of the Confederate Battle Flag from the Statehouse. This act, sent this country into a downward spiral as it paved the way for others to do the same. It opened up the wounds of the past by blaming the Confederate Battle Flag for the deaths of 9 Blacks in a church. They did not blame the evil individual, but the flag. Apparently, Confederate monuments and flags have special powers and can make people do bad stuff.  Why? Because they are labeled racist and they cause hate.

I find this incredibly sad. We are not blaming people for their bad behavior. We are blaming the past that was apologized for by the Federal Government. We are digging up old hurts, old sufferings to please present day people, who have zero understanding of our Nation’s History.  We are removing heritages from our Confederate history and destroying monuments to great (Christian) men. These men loved God especially Lee and Jackson. We have a Christian College, banning a Christian student, for honoring a Christian General Lee.

Oh then, these same people want to blame GOD because HE is the one sending these massive record breaking hurricanes. Congratulations America, you are breaking records all over the place and this is just the beginning. You might want to put those monuments, flags and plaques back and let the past and the dead rest in peace once more.

Baltimore, you will not be immune to this; California; and other places who have also desecrated the land with ignorance! God isn’t the one doing the destroying. You started it and you have given Satan place to come in even stronger. As I previously stated, “Congratulations America. You are breaking records.”

Juliana