10256182_10202758669021621_8543070899349984808_n 10322691_710370459024346_4803838034312067231_nThey say that “image is everything.” As a photographer, I am wondering how for so many years I missed that. My images as a photographer have to be centered, balanced, have meaning and some sort of spark. There always has to be something that jumps out at me, or I will throw the image away. I might even save it, if later on, I feel I can edit it or use it. My photographs usually speak for themselves; their moods, their meaning and so forth.

I am a very down to earth person. I love who I am. I never try to be something or someone I am not. What you see is basically what you get. I remember an old friend who tried to turn me into Lady Diana. She was always trying to get me to wear a dress, or put on high heels. She was so determined to turn me into a fashion icon that our friendship eventually deteriorated. I could not live up to her standards. But almost twenty years later, I am wondering if she was right. As I move closer and closer into the movie industry, I wonder if image truly is everything. I am not sure someone will want to finance my film, if I am walking around with holes in my favorite skating jacket. I love my jacket. I have worn this thing through many skating bumps and bruises. But if I ever hope to be one of Hollywood’s movie filmmakers, should I not also have to learn how to edit myself to that kind of lifestyle? I am not saying the dark side of Hollywood. But there are some truly amazing people there. They go to the gym everyday, like ten times a day. They have their nails done, hair done and have beautiful white shiny teeth. They walk, talk, and breathe glamour.

I used to work at Bloomingdale’s. Oh how I hated it. The store was amazing. But a lot of the people who shopped and worked there were stuck up! Money should not make us feel like we are better than everyone else. It should help us to feel even more grateful for all of life’s blessings. When I am finally able to join the elite crowd of the rich and famous, I want to be like Ellen Degeneres. I am not talking about her being a lesbian. But her humility to treat everyone with kindness, dignity and respect. This is a woman who goes out of her way to be good to people. I want to be like that too.

Yet, it all starts with ways I need to edit myself first. What do I need to crop, or to brighten or to center? What image do I want to capture and then present to the world? I  simply cannot push a button of “insta-thin” and photo-shop  myself to the perfect woman. I have to work hard at my own figure.  I may be happy with myself just the way I am. But I have to get over the cocky attitude of, “I ain’t changing for nobody.”  It worked for me. I just don’t think it works for me anymore and I have to be willing to change. I have to be willing to basically suck it up and just do what I need to do. If I ever hope to break into this type of business, I have to format my appearance and my image to fit into it. No! I do not mean – shallow and be all about boobs and Botox! Hopefully, my heart will reflect the person I am. It needs to show on the outside, regardless of the glamour and color of my lipstick.

Lady Diana wanted to be the “Queen of the people’s hearts.” I can see now why my friend was so adamant about her as a role model. Well, let the transformation begin!

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